theidealmistress asked: Heeey Erica, whatach eating at this very moment?
i am eating air and being invisible
Post with 1 note
so , i was on my email and looked through my notes and found something i dont remember ever writing … here it is
Better to have loved and lost then to have never have loved at all. This statement is false. At least, to me it is. The heartache that remains isn’t something to welcome. To look back on fond memories that had been made and smile out of the joy they had brought is hardly ever attainable. To look back on memories with someone you felt you were truly in love with and only feel joy that they happened, is too hard to manage. The memory will stir and the joy will come but once the memory leaves you are left with nothing but a broken heart and a future you had planned that will never come true. To make something your world and have it taken away is not something to look back and smile upon. To never had loved is to be lost. Though , wandering lost and searching for a way alone makes one stronger. But to have had thought you had found your path and then it turns out that it was only a dead end , fills you with bitter thoughts. How stupid you were to fallow it. How you had been so sure. How now you don’t know wether to trust yourself or not. Only looking back on the memories when a new possibility comes by. You doubt constantly from there on wether what you feel is real or just another dead end. Determination to find your path keeps you searching. But how will you be sure it’s the path you should take? Better to have loved and lost then to have never have loved at all. It is better to not know the pain and hope for what’s to come , then to fear and doubt ones own choices constantly. I wish to have never loved and lost.For now, I will never know if I truely feel love at all. For it may always be a dead end in disguise.
hmm … i dont know how to feel a the moment … when did i write this ?!
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